His Dinner with Kanye

Andy Cranberry

Palm Beach – Donald Trump had dinner Tuesday at his Mar-a-Lago club with Kanye West, now known as Ye. Mr. West, a brilliant designer of clothes with cute and inane sayings on them was joined by Nick Fuentes, a previously Latino activist specializing in the uplifting of downtrodden white people who are not Jews.

Reportedly, there were smiles all around as well a sincere embracing and strenuous hand shaking. But at some point while they consumed Mar-a-Lago’s world-famous hors d’oeuvres of dill-infused brine,-soaked cucumber and nachos à la tomate de catsup, Ye casually mentioned that he, too, would be running for president in 2024 and suggested that if Mr. Trump’s own foray into the political pas de melee didn’t glisse into a comfortable landslide, he would like to pick the former president as his running mate.

Diners at nearby tables reported hearing a spate of loud coughing ending in a retching sound and the word “what” inflected as a question and uttered at high volume at some point during the meal but could not definitively attest to this sound being Mr. Trump’s response to Mr. West’s query.

According to the waitress, Miss Daisy Detouche, Mr. Fuentes was reportedly taken by surprise at Mr. West’s announcement and uttered, “Aye Caramba.” He then proceeded to calm the situation by acknowledging the formidability of such a ticket, while expressing doubt that MAGA would prefer the arrangement to Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene, even though she looks kind of Jewish.

Speak, Kev

Vidalia Unjon

Washington – According to some members of the Republican House Freedom Caucus, a group of Republican representatives who all think alike and refer to nonmembers as people who hate freedom, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy is taking a little too much for granted by boasting about what he plans to do when he is voted House speaker in January.

McCarthy has made it known he intends to have investigations “all over the place,” his aide de camp Colonel Festus explained succinctly. He will be trying to find out the answers to several interesting questions. One is why the Department of Homeland Security keeps letting in millions and millions of unknown creatures who keep seeping through the cracks of the wall Donald Trump built with Mexico’s money.

And why did US soldiers not let in millions and millions of scared Afghanis who were clinging on to our planes when we decided not to prop up their corrupt government anymore?

And who brought in the COVID19 stuff. How come so many Republican voters died and hardly any Democrats? Who exactly is Dr. Fow Chi and how did he get his millions and millions of dollars?

And how come the FBI bothered Donald Trump for months and months to give back millions and millions of documents he mentally declassified and then went down and took them when he was busy playing golf in New Jersey?

And what’s up with Hunter Biden’s laptop? Could Hillary’s emails be on it?

All of these question may have to wait if McCarthy has to fight to assign his favorites to committees. Which would be a shame.

Thanks, Elon

Joe Poe

Today marks one month since the world’s richest man became the Twitter boss.

Layoffs rose, executives were fired, advertisers dropped out, employees quit, blue checks were put up for sale, then given up on, Trump was allowed to come back, Musk carried a kitchen sink to work, revenues plummeted, new subscribers flocked, old subscribers ran away. People cried, other people laughed, more people trolled, fake people bleeped.

It is all so interesting. So much drama, so much anger and angst and locking out, and swarming in, and advertising all over the place.

Where would we be without Twitter? It’s impossible to imagine a world without it. It would be like artificial intelligence without the artificial. It would be like word salads without the crudites, as Dr. Oz once tweeticulated so decidedly to his detriment.

It would be sincerity without the heart-rending emojis. It would be social networking without the net and the work. It would be a dearth of cute cats, a spreading flatulence that did not exclude the smell.

Let us give thanks, then, this Thanksgiving Season, to Elon Musk. Let us signal our dramatic movements on our toilets as we emote and expound and evoke and elongate ourselves into the captivating Twitterverse that we have come to not be able to stop intriguing ourselves with.