Bitchin’ Bishops

Thornton Wharton

Washington – The chief U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, bishop, Archbishop Timothy Broglio, has issued a decision that the mission of President Biden’s wishful revision of bishops’ existent bishopric vision of abortion as a mishmash of squishy indifference and diminished criticisms is wrong.

The Broglio imbroglio is a mind-boggling bag of Biden bungling, since Catholic bishops are united in their commitment to preserving life for all, including people who pay taxes.

“Taxpayer funding of abortion would force people to participate in this grave evil like all the other sinners who hate human beings. It would contradict our right to live in accord with the tenets of our faith,” said Archbishop Broglio.

Archbishop Broglio

Meanwhile, Bishop Joseph Strictly of Toompy, Texas, took to Twitter, which is “much better than a pulpit, since all those weak Catholics out there tend to fall asleep and snore loudly when he’s talking,” to throw Twittery shade on President Biden’s beliefs, which is better than just yelling at him or writing an opinion or sermonizing from the pulpit, which, again, merely acts as a soporific, to call him a “fake Catholic.”

Biden, who regularly attends Mass and carries a rosary, said U.S. bishops and Pope Francis are secretly for federally funded abortions. 

Bishop Strictly sank to his knees and begged the Vatican to emphatically denounce Biden as an accomplice to “murder” and also to sneer at him for his evil holier-than-thou attitude with his rosary and fake piety.

Up, Up and Away

Vern Hu Chu

What is now being described as “Balloongate” has put some conservative commentators on the offensive. Former director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe praised China’s “incredibly successful” spy balloon intelligence operation and said that the repercussions of China’s “unprecedented” breach of US national security are “incalculable” and would put the Chinese in a great position to destroy our way of life and everything we hold dear in the near future.

Balloon

The People’s Republic of China, maneuvered a balloon over US airspace to spy on people in Montana in an apparent operation to see how many guns they had in case they want to parachute some Chinese soldiers in. “I’m not aware [this] has ever happened in our history. . . . And the Biden administration let that happen.”

Meanwhile, Senator Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) said Biden delayed his decision to pop the suspected Chinese spy balloon so he could “salvage” Secretary of State Antony Blinken’s trip to China. Cotton said that the Biden administration has “a lot” of explaining to do to the public.

The balloon first entered US airspace via Alaska on January 28, and sailed over Canada before sneaking into Idaho on January 31 with everyone staring at it. Biden said he ordered the US military to shoot down the balloon “as soon as possible” on Wednesday, but that officials waited until the aircraft was over water to make sure there was no risk on the ground.

“What began as a spy balloon has become a trial balloon testing President Biden’s strength and resolve,” Cotton said. For their part, the Chinese government said the incident “seriously impacted and damaged both sides’ efforts and progress in stabilizing Sino-U.S. relations.” This will also make Republicans mad. It therefore appears that Biden will be an easy target for peashooters in 2024.

Greene Is Tired

Vidalia Unjon

Washington – Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene says she is not getting paid enough as a member of Congress, complaining that her low congressional salary had made her “life miserable.” Before stepping selflessly into public service, she made lots of money from the business her father sold her and her estranged husband in 2002.

Being a congresswoman is apparently an arduous line of work. Greene says it ties members of Congress and senators to their desks so much of the time that they can’t even go home and hang out with their families and friends, or just be “regular people” who shoot guns at woke symbols.

While it’s true that one has to constantly trot out conspiracy theories and Hunter Biden laptop evidence, it can be fun to look at his nude shots. Nevertheless, but it’s not what she had envisioned when she decided to run for office. Except for junkets, holiday recesses, parties, Cancun vacations, and schmoozing with donors, “it’s turned into practically year-round,” she laments.

Greene in happier times when she had money

She continued: “And for the House of Representatives . . . you’re practically campaigning nearly the entire time that you’re here. . . . It’s not a life that I think is like something that I enjoy because I don’t enjoy it.”

Members of the House of Representatives earn a salary of $174,000 a year, which is reportedly the same amount a garbage collector earns. And now that she is no longer kicked off of committees, she will have to work even harder.